Baby Gear: On the Go

This Baby Gear post is dedicated to the items we use to transport BabyL. 

First, the infant car seat. Based on recommendations from both Baby Bargains and Consumer Reports, we chose the Chicco Keyfit 30 (pictured at left in the Adventure pattern). We also considered the Graco Snugride, but went with the Chicco because friends commented that the straps on the Chicco are easier to rethread than the Graco's. Chicco is approved for babies up to 30 lbs or 30 inches tall (whichever measurement the baby meets first). We may transition BabyL to a convertible car seat before meeting EITHER of those measurements, because right now, at only 15 pounds, it's getting harder to carry the car seat with him in it (or maybe I just need to hit the gym). We purchased a second base for D's car. After we installed the bases, we had them inspected by Safe Kids USA. 

We haven't decided yet which convertible car seat we'll use. We're considering the Graco Nautilus 3-in-1, but we haven't purchased it yet. 

On to strollers. I wanted a stroller that was lightweight (for carrying up and down the stairs to our apartment), easy to fold, and would handle walking over rough terrain (the sidewalks in our neighborhood are in desperate need of repair, and we occasionally walk the dogs in a local park with a dirt path). We chose the Baby Jogger City Mini. 

We also wanted to be able to use our stroller with the infant car seat, at least for the first month or two. We registered for both the Baby Jogger car seat adapter bar, and the Baby Trend Snap n Go. I figured that if anybody bought one for us, I would remove the other. In the end, we did not receive either as a gift, so I opted to buy the Snap n Go from Craigslist. I haven't regretted the decision. The Snap n Go is easy to fold, our car seat fits perfectly, and it has a roomy basket underneath. 

Chicco came out with its own stroller frame called the Caddy in the fall of 2011. However, it retailed for $30 more than the Snap n Go. Since the Chicco Keyfit fits perfectly into the Snap n Go, and I was on a really tight budget, I couldn't justify the extra money. 

Now that BabyL is three months old, we've started using the City Mini for going on walks with the dogs. It reclines flat, has adjustable straps, and I like that there are flaps in the canopy, so I can look down at BabyL without having to stop and walk around to the front of the stroller. The City Mini doesn't come with any attachments, like a parent tray, so we bought the Sunshine Kids parent tray. 

One more baby transport item that I felt was a great investment was a baby carrier. These have long been popular in other cultures, but "babywearing" only recently caught on in the mainstream United States. Some carriers work better for infants, and others are recommended for toddlers. I started out with a Moby wrap (pictured at left). Some are turned off by the Moby, thinking it's too difficult to learn to wrap, but after following along with an instructional video once, I was able to wrap on my own after that. Other carriers include ring slings, pouches, soft-structured carriers, woven wraps, and mei tais. 

101 Goals in 1,001 Days

Two years ago, I started the Day Zero project, also called "101 in 1001." But life got in the way, and I never finished. I have created a new list, and intend to start over again on February 27th, giving me until November 24, 2014 to finish.

So, what is the Day Zero Project?

The Challenge: 
Complete 101 pre-set tasks in a period of 1001 days.

The Criteria: 
Tasks must be specific (ie. no ambiguity in the wording) with a result that is either measurable or clearly defined. Tasks must also be realistic and stretching (ie. represent some amount of work on your part).

Why 1001 Days? 
Many people have created lists in the past - frequently simple challenges such as New Year's resolutions or a 'Bucket List'. The key to beating procrastination is to set a deadline that is realistic. 1001 Days (about 2.75 years) is a better period of time than a year, because it allows you several seasons to complete the tasks, which is better for organizing and timing some tasks such as overseas trips, or outdoor activities.

So, here are my 101 goals:

For Myself:

1. Get a massage
2. Trash, sell, or donate 101 things (0/101)
3. Have boudoir photos taken
4. Reach goal weight of 140 lbs
5. Read 50 books (0/50)
6. Watch 25 of the AFI’s Top 100 movies (1/25)
7. Go to a sporting event once a year (1/3)
8. Go to a taping of The Chew
9. Go to a taping of the Rachael Ray Show
10. Attend a performance of the Pennsylvania Ballet's “The Nutcracker”
11. Visit Longwood Gardens at Christmastime
12. Weed out clothes I don’t wear anymore and donate them
13. Post a blog update about each completed task (2/101)
14. Stay off the Internet for one weekend (two days)
15. Do something with old wedding dress
16. Write in journal at least once a week (13/143)
17. Do the ballet toning DVD at least once a week for a month (0/4)

For My Relationship:

18. Beat D. in Wii Bowling 
19. Go horse-back riding with D.
20. Have a family portrait taken
21. Take a weekend trip with D.
22. Private

For My Family:

23. Breastfeed BabyL for one year
24. Have professional photos taken of BabyL at 1 year
25. Have professional photos taken of BabyL at 2 years
26. Have professional photos taken of BabyL at 3 years
27. Make BabyL's first puréed food
28. Take BabyL to a Flyers game
29. Take BabyL to the Please Touch Museum
30. Take BabyL to the zoo
31. Teach sign for "all done"
32. Teach sign for "bed"
33. Teach sign for "book"
34. Teach sign for "daddy"
35. Teach sign for "dog"
36. Teach sign for "hurt"
37. Teach sign for "milk"
38. Teach sign for "mommy"
39. Teach sign for "more"
40. Potty train BabyL
41. Take BabyL to Camden Aquarium
42. Conceive Baby #2
43. Create a will
44. Host a holiday dinner

For My Pets: 

45. Have professional photos of the dogs taken
46. Switch dogs to prey model raw diet
47. Teach White Dog to bow
48. Teach White Dog to fetch
49. Teach Brown Dog “Dog in a box”
50. Teach Brown Dog right and left
51. Train White Dog to pass the Canine Good Citizen test
52. Get Brown Dog to pass the TDI Therapy Dog Test

For My Home: 

53. Move out of Ravenswood
54. Buy new sofa
55. Buy new dishes
56. Buy a new (to me) car
57. Buy a speedlight
58. Buy a Keurig machine
59. Buy a lightscoop
60. Buy an external hard drive
61. Buy a video camera

For My Career: 

62. Apply to at least one job every week until I am hired
63. Attend one networking event every six months (0/5)
64. Find an association for graphic designers and join
65. Get a full-time job

For My Friends: 

66. Go to a baby playdate
67. Host a dinner party
68. Host a game night
69. Host a girls’ night

For My Finances: 

70. Create a budget
71. Deposit $5 for every task completed into ING savings account
72. Donate $1 for every task not completed to charity
73. Establish a 3-month emergency fund
74. Save $200 for vacation to Outer Banks
75. Track every dollar spent for a week
76. Improve credit score by 100 points
77. Open a safe deposit box
78. Pay off one student loan

For My Inner Chef: 

79. Enter a food-related contest
80. Get a Foodbuzz 24x24 proposal accepted
81. Get a photo posted on FoodGawker or Tastespotting
82. Organize digital recipes
83. Organize hard-copy recipes
84. Plan weekly meals from sale papers for one month
85. Plant indoor herb garden
86. Try 15 new restaurants (0/15)
87. Update cooking blog at least once a week with a new recipe + photo (13/143)
88. Bring reusable grocery bags while food shopping for a month
89. Shop at a farmers market once each summer (0/3)
90. Keep a food diary for one week
91. Reach 200 followers on blog Facebook fan page

For My Creative Side: 

92. Make vanilla extract from scratch
93. Make a Shutterfly photo book of Liam’s first year for grandparents
94. Complete 365 Project, posting photos on Facebook (0/365)
95. Complete a “30 Things to Make in my 30’s” List (4/30)

For My Giving Side: 

96. Lead an animal shelter adoption event once a month (3/33)
97. Leave a 100% tip
98. Pay the bridge/highway toll for the car behind me

For My Intellectual Side: 

99. Learn how to use my camera off auto-mode
100. Learn Adobe Flash
101. Learn CPR

Our Breastfeeding Experience So Far

I had not through much about breastfeeding vs. formula-feeding before becoming pregnant. I wasn't planning on having a child, so there wasn't much point in thinking too deeply about it. I didn't know anybody who breastfed their babies. My brother and I were formula-fed. My aunt fed her three kids formula. My cousin fed her two kids formula.

But halfway through my pregnancy, I decided I would give breastfeeding a try. D told me that it was what he preferred (hah! easy for him to say, he didn't have to do it), and also, it was free. Yeah, not the most common reasons women choose to breastfeed.

I ordered the book So That's What They're For by Janet Tamaro. I think I made it ¾ of the way through. What I did read was easy to understand, and at times funny. I read on The Bump's message boards that many lactation consultants don't give you both the pros and cons of breastfeeding — maybe because they're worried more women won't try it if they think it might be hard?

It had been a good two or three months since I'd read any of that book when BabyL arrived. All I remembered was that I should try to let him nurse within the first hour of him being born. I did not remember what a proper latch looked like. I tried to aim my nipple straight into the baby's mouth. Yeah, that hurt. You're supposed to aim your nipple up toward the roof of the baby's mouth. His latch was also a bit shallow at first.

But, my nurses kept telling me that his latch looked great, so we just kept going, though I did request to speak to a lactation consultant. The woman who came was … less than helpful. She was shocked that I didn't take a breastfeeding class. She also told me his latch looked good.

We kept nursing. It was REALLY starting to hurt. Another lactation consultant came in, and told me to aim my nipple up. At that point, my nipples were already visibly damaged. Nursing my son hurt worse than my labor pains. I was crying in pain, dreading each nursing session. But the doctors were worried about his weight loss, and wanted me to wake him every two hours to nurse, and wanted him to nurse for at least twenty minutes each session. 

Finally, the third nursing consultant showed me a new position I hadn't tried yet that put pressure on an undamaged part of my nipples. She advised that I pump for 24 hours, to give the time to heal. She gave me gel pads to put on my nipples when I wasn't nursing or pumping, and advised me to apply a heating pad to my breasts for five minutes before nursing. And slowly, my nipples began to heal.

But I still worried that BabyL wasn't getting enough. He seemed to eat CONSTANTLY. I forgot about the part in the book that described cluster feeding, and increased appetite during growth spurts. I obsessively weighed BabyL on my kitchen scale. 

I finally found a breastfeeding support group, and it was so relieving to hear stories from other moms that went through the same thing. The lactation consultant there gave me the best advice: ignore the clock. Ignore the rules. Read your baby's cues. You don't eat the same amount at each meal, right? Neither does your baby. So, if he eats for ten minutes, then falls asleep, let him sleep. Feed him when he gives you his "I"m hungry" cues (smacking his lips, trying to eat his hands, rooting). She also recommended another book, which I haven't had the opportunity to read yet, Breastfeeding Made Simple: Seven Natural Laws for Nursing Mothers by Nancy Mohrbacher and Kathleen Kendall-Tackett. 

Twelve weeks in, it's become second-nature to just latch him on. It doesn't hurt anymore (except the time I had a clogged duct, which went away with massage and applying heat). We had our first successful attempt at nursing in public, on a bench outside the pharmacy at Target. 

I've set mini-goals. First, I just wanted to make it two days. Then two weeks. Then one month. Then three months. My next goal is to make it through going back to work. Then through teething. My ultimate goal is to make it a full year. 

BabyL and the Dogs

Some background on the dogs.

I had Brown Dog first. A friend of mine adopted her from a shelter, and she lived with his other two dogs for a year, but then starting picking fights with his other, older female dog. He didn't know what to do. He didn't want to send Brown Dog back to the shelter, but he had his older dog first, and she wasn't the one causing the problems. I offered to take Brown Dog. She came to live with me in December 2008, and we started some formal obedience training and working on her lack of confidence. She went on to earn her Canine Good Citizen title in November 2010.

White Dog also came from a shelter, the one where D and I met while volunteering. White Dog had been there for a while, was estimated to be about a year old, and was going crazy from lack of exercise. Because of an illness that was sweeping through the shelter, D and I fostered White Dog. He ended up fitting into our family really well, and we formally adopted him after a month. He suffers from an "overabundance of friendliness and lack of impulse control" and hasn't earned his Canine Good Citizen title yet.

As soon as I found out I was pregnant, I bought the book Childproofing your Dog by Brian Kilcommons. The number one reason that a dog is surrendered to a shelter is because the family has a new baby. We didn't want to add to that statistic. We had been lazy about their training, but we started being sticklers. No jumping on anybody. Walking on a loose leash. We tried getting them to stay off the furniture. Hasn't happened yet. It's hard to unlearn bad habits.

We slowly brought in the baby stuff. Too much change at once overwhelms our dogs, and stresses them out. We turned on the baby gear and the toys that move and make noise, so the dogs could get used to them. I started using the baby's lotions on myself, so they could get used to the new smells. We got a CD calling "Preparing Fido," which is a soundtrack of baby sounds. We put it on, and left it on all day and went about our business, so the dogs would learn that the noises were normal.

And despite all of our preparation, we still expected to have an adjustment period. And we did. White Dog was VERY fearful of the baby, and Brown Dog was stressed out, thinking it was her job to protect the baby from White Dog. It took about two weeks for the dogs to adjust. Brown Dog will still occasionally go on a food strike. White Dog still leaves the room when the baby cries.

One thing I want to stress is to never, ever leave the baby unattended with the dogs. No matter how well behaved your dog is, it's still a dog. Even the best behaved dogs, when stressed, can be react poorly. Please, if you have a dog, read up on body language. Dogs don't bite "out of the blue." They give non-verbal warnings, like yawning, licking their lips, turning their head, holding their tail high and stiff. And never correct a growl. A growl is usually your final warning before a bite — if you correct them for growling, they won't give you that final warning, and will just bite. 

More recommended reading: 

• Family Paws
• Living with Kids and Dogs
• Canine Body Language: A Photographic Guide by Brenda Aloff
• Babies and Beasts (particularly the "anxiety," "babies," "baby," "baby proofing," "desensitizing," "growl," "NILIF," "snap," "statistics," and "the MOST IMPORTANT post in here" tags)
• American Humane's Pet Meets Baby booklet

If you feel that your dog has issues that you can't deal with on your own, I urge you to contact a behaviorist, not a trainer. Find one by searching these sites: 

• International Association of Behavior Consultants 
• Certified Applied Animal Behaviorists
• American College of Veterinary Behaviorists

Baby Gear: The Nursery

As a first-time mom (and a surprise one at that), I had no clue what to look for in baby gear. I was that person at the baby shower who, after each gift was opened, whispered to the woman sitting next to me, "What is that for?" I made the first-time mom mistake of checking out the "registry checklist" of a major baby department store, and got completely overwhelmed. 

Finally, someone saved me, and recommended I pick up a copy of Baby Bargains (I am not receiving any kickbacks, monetary or otherwise, for mentioning this book — or any other brands or products — on this blog). This book reviews tons of baby products, and makes recommendations based on usefulness, safety, and price. 

So, I'll start with the nursery. We were very lucky that a friend of a friend is into bidding on foreclosed storage units. They won one that contained two sets of furniture. Our mutual friend purchased one of the sets, which included a tall dresser, a long bureau, a night stand, and a toy chest/bench. All are solid wood, very durable. A lot of the furniture sold in baby stores uses fiberboard or particleboard, which is cheaper and less durable. The stuff that is solid wood is very expensive. If you're not concerned about your nursery furniture matching exactly, pick out storage pieces in regular furniture stores, rather than baby stores. 

Speaking of that long dresser, we placed a changing pad on top of it (placing a piece of nonskid rubber kitchen liner underneath to keep it in place), rather than spend the money on a changing table. We keep a JJ Cole diaper caddy stocked next to the pad, and keep extra diapers and wipes in the baby's closet. 

For his crib, we chose the DaVinci Emily 4-in-1 Convertible Crib in Honey Oak (which is a pretty darn close match to the finish of the rest of the nursery furniture). The crib will convert to a toddler bed, a day bed, and (if we purchase the conversion kit) a full-size bed. Any crib on the market meets federal safety standards, so take into consideration what the crib is constructed from, the finish, the aesthetics (is the hardware visible?), and whether it converts or not. 

The mattress in the crib is a Sealy Soybean Foam mattress. Crib mattresses will either be made with inner coils or with foam. You want to look for a firm mattress. Foam mattresses are lighter than coil, which makes middle-of-the-night sheet changes easier. 

Gliders are by no means mandatory, but I knew that I wanted to give breastfeeding a try, so I wanted a glider. I checked out Craigslist, and someone in my area was selling a gently used Dutailier (a very highly rated brand). While I wish the glider also had an ottoman, I really like having the glider. 

I wasn't planning on registering for a bedding set, knowing that it's strongly recommended to not use the coverlet and the bumpers that come with them. But, my mom wanted to buy the COMPLETE crib (crib, mattress and bedding), so I registered for Trend Lab's Giggles Green and Brown Modern Dots and Stripes. I love the green, yellow and brown color combination.

D did a lot of research on child development, and read that infants prefer to look at starkly-contrasting color patterns, and pictures of faces. So, we registered for the Wimmer-Ferguson Infant Stim Mobile. So far, BabyL loves laying in his crib and looking at it, giving me enough time to brush my teeth and use the bathroom. 

Seeing as we live in a relatively small two-bedroom apartment, I didn't think we needed the fanciest monitor on the market. I chose the Sony Babycall, a sound-only monitor, with one receiver (though it is available with two). I like that it has an out-of-range indicator, the receivers run on battery power or an AC adapter, and it has 27 channels, so there's less chance of accidentally listening in on someone else's baby. 

One last thing that was recommended to us is a Homedics SoundSpa Lullabye White Noise Machine. It has three sounds and three songs to choose from: heartbeat, rainforest, ocean, Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, Rock-a-bye Baby, and Brahm's Lullabye. It also has a projector and includes three disks of images that will project onto the wall. You can set the timer to shut the machine off in 15, 30, or 45 minutes. 

BabyL's Second Month

After BabyL turned four weeks, things did start to get better. He started to fall into a more predictable sleep/wake pattern. He started to notice what was going on around him. He started to make sounds other than crying. He even flipped himself from tummy to back — twice! — but that was probably by accident, haha.

Our dogs got more comfortable with the baby. White Dog stopped hiding under the bed every time the baby cried. I got more comfortable leaving the house with the baby on my own.

Nursing became second-nature. It became easier to get the baby latched on by myself (he stopped sticking his hands in front of his mouth while eating).

He started sleep longer — probably my favorite part. 

We were finally rewarded with a smile the day before he turned 8 weeks. We weren't really sure at the time, not knowing how to tell the difference between a "gas smile" and a true social smile. A "gas smile" is a reflex, and only the corners of their mouth move. Usually the mouth remains closed. A social smile is usually open-mouthed, and the baby's cheeks lift.

And I'll end the short second month recap with his 2-month well-baby checkup. He's up to 12 pounds, and measuring 23 ¼ inches long. He took his vaccines like a champ. He was extra sleepy that evening and part of the next day, but never got a fever, and was not extra fussy. 

BabyL's First Month - It Gets Better

Looking back, life with BabyL for the first month is a blur of nursing, napping, and changing diapers. My cousin came to visit the weekend after we came home, and said to me, "The first four weeks are HELL. You don't know what you're doing, you're sleep deprived . . . but it gets better." 

So, when BabyL would wake for the fourth time overnight to eat, I repeated to myself, "It gets better." 

I read a book on breastfeeding called "So That's What They're For" by Janet Tamaro. In it, she says that nobody ever told her that it's normal for breastfeeding to hurt in the beginning. She wonders if the breastfeeding activists believe that admitting breastfeeding can hurt would deter women who are on the fence about breastfeeding. One recurring theme of the book is, "It gets better." 

Even women who long for a child express being overwhelmed the first few weeks at home. Another cousin of mine, when her son was four weeks old, held him out to her own mother and said, "I don't want to do this anymore." 

Please take care of yourself. Don't feel guilty about handing the baby off with a sigh of relief to your partner as soon as he/she walks in the door from work. That doesn't make you a terrible mother. Don't feel guilty about breaking down in tears over something "little." Your hormones have been on the roller coaster ride of their lives, and haven't quite settled down yet. If you think you think you're having more than just "the baby blues," call your doctor. There is NOTHING WRONG with you. 

If you're inundated with requests to visit, and you simply don't feel up to it, say so. My parents insisted on bringing dinner to us on Thanksgiving (I just wanted to curl up in bed with a bowl of soup). My brother came over two days later, my cousin the day after that. D's mom and step-dad (who are a bit grating on the nerves on a GOOD day) came over the following weekend. By that time, I just broke down. I spent their whole visit in bed crying, and canceled D's sister's visit the next day (which turned out to be a blessing in disguise, but more on that another day). 

So, when it's 4:30 a.m., and you've just gotten back to sleep when your baby starts to stir and fuss and wants to eat again, and your partner is laying next to you, snoring away, oblivious to the fact that you're up for the fourth time that night, and you just want to lay your head in your hands and sob, remember, it gets better.