BabyL's First Month - It Gets Better

Looking back, life with BabyL for the first month is a blur of nursing, napping, and changing diapers. My cousin came to visit the weekend after we came home, and said to me, "The first four weeks are HELL. You don't know what you're doing, you're sleep deprived . . . but it gets better." 

So, when BabyL would wake for the fourth time overnight to eat, I repeated to myself, "It gets better." 

I read a book on breastfeeding called "So That's What They're For" by Janet Tamaro. In it, she says that nobody ever told her that it's normal for breastfeeding to hurt in the beginning. She wonders if the breastfeeding activists believe that admitting breastfeeding can hurt would deter women who are on the fence about breastfeeding. One recurring theme of the book is, "It gets better." 

Even women who long for a child express being overwhelmed the first few weeks at home. Another cousin of mine, when her son was four weeks old, held him out to her own mother and said, "I don't want to do this anymore." 

Please take care of yourself. Don't feel guilty about handing the baby off with a sigh of relief to your partner as soon as he/she walks in the door from work. That doesn't make you a terrible mother. Don't feel guilty about breaking down in tears over something "little." Your hormones have been on the roller coaster ride of their lives, and haven't quite settled down yet. If you think you think you're having more than just "the baby blues," call your doctor. There is NOTHING WRONG with you. 

If you're inundated with requests to visit, and you simply don't feel up to it, say so. My parents insisted on bringing dinner to us on Thanksgiving (I just wanted to curl up in bed with a bowl of soup). My brother came over two days later, my cousin the day after that. D's mom and step-dad (who are a bit grating on the nerves on a GOOD day) came over the following weekend. By that time, I just broke down. I spent their whole visit in bed crying, and canceled D's sister's visit the next day (which turned out to be a blessing in disguise, but more on that another day). 

So, when it's 4:30 a.m., and you've just gotten back to sleep when your baby starts to stir and fuss and wants to eat again, and your partner is laying next to you, snoring away, oblivious to the fact that you're up for the fourth time that night, and you just want to lay your head in your hands and sob, remember, it gets better.